Hey everyone, have not been on in a while. Things have been up and down, a few good weeks, then a bad night...have been doing much self-searching, reading various books...still, I wish there was an open meeting I could go to and talk about these things with, but all there is here are those one meetings that I can not mention here. So there has been this deeply felt longing to be with others in recovery, to sit down and talk, put everything on the table, and not have it be based on any one program...and it seems so odd that no such groups exist, and even online, I have felt very alone in my recovery, and afraid to share very much...even here, I feel like I have to be very careful what I say, and have felt like the more I say, the more I will get attacked, especially outside of this thread, and a few others...have looked at other sites, but they seem very slow...not many posts, no real feeling of discussion. Have looked at starting a group, but I lack the $$$ to rent a space, and have had no real luck in the social networking dept. So have been kinda sad, trying to work this on my own and just rely on myself without the need for others, but yet, as an inherently social animal, there it is, that longing. Been hard, been kinda sad, that's why I have not posted much, just not much response to the spiral steps or alternative ideas, so I gave up sharing, as it seemed to lack any real communications value. Communications breakdown, as the song goes, I guess.