Thank you for all of your replies. My husband is now in the "you are over-reacting" frame of mind. He is trying to tell me that I over-reacted to last night. He didn't go to his noon meeting like he said he would. He didn't go to his meeting tonight either. No meeting today at all after he got drunk last night. He "said" that he called his sponsor today and he still hasn't called him back. He told me that he is tired of me being so concerned and only wanting to talk about his drinking and recovery. It's not all I want to talk about. I want to have NORMAL conversations with him, about our children, about vacations, about jobs, etc., but I can't when all I think about is his drinking. I think he has been drinking tonight as well. I told his step-mother (who is like his real mom). She has my 5 year old tonight and he told her that he heard Daddy tell me that he drank liquor last night, so I told her. She has had her suspicions several days in the last week, and oddly enough, they were the same days that I suspected it as well. He is using the "it's a disease" line as a crutch. He told me last night that he couldn't help it--"It's a disease." Bullsh*t. The disease makes him want it; makes him need it; makes it consume his thoughts. But HE was the one that walked into the liquor store. He was the one that drank it because why? Simply b/c he wanted to. I can't compete with that. Our home is currently being lease/purchased and the people should close within the next 4 months. As soon as it closes, we will have money to pay off 80% of our debt and then I will file for divorce. I cannot disconnect myself from his drinking. I need to disconnect with him totally. I feel I am at my bottom at this point.