Boundary setting
I've been guilty of the idle threat in the past. Not that I've meant them to be idle but I've not followed through on what i've said - like if you drink again, that's it we're through.
However, thanks to reading SR, I'm getting stronger and last night/this morning did what I said I'd do. Currently ABF's sleeping patterns are screwed, he's dozing for most of the day and then seems to be awake most of the night, when he can't resist pawing me.
Fortunately I have a superpower, which is I can sleep anywhere at pretty much any time. I can also get by without that much sleep for a while but if I get disturbed once I'm asleep, boy watch out.
Last night I asked him to let me sleep, not to try anything and generally he could hold me, but no trying any funny business. That is off the menu while he is drinking. If he did try anything then I'd go sleep on the couch.
Early this morning, it started. So I said no, got up and went to the couch. He got upset, said he'd sleep there instead. But I insisted, curled up under a sleeping bag and he went back to bed. 30 minutes later, he came to hug me. then said he wanted to watch TV so I should go back to bed. I agreed as long as he left me along. True to form, 30 minutes later, he came back to bed. So I got up. I didn't want to, I'm knackered but I got up and went out for a coffee.
When I came back he said he'd learnt his lesson, that I do mean what I say. I'm not sure he actually means that but I know that I need to keep this up. Set the line, state the consequences and follow through.
I'm hoping that if I can keep doing this, he will understand that when I say if he doesn't embrace his recovery, that we're through.