Time is your friend nicam ..
Ah, another advantage of box, lots of good looking males ... well in my class they are like average
but anyway it feels good to be around them and feel fresh and have no one know anything about EX or give a damn about toxic people I have left behind. Then you are so exhausted you have no time to think about anything but the pajamas lol. Very good workout.
The first time I went they went with me to walk to the pharmacy nearby to buy bandages to protect the hands. I thought "these guys have talked to me for 2 minutes and are already gentlemen and supportive, when I spent 1 year with XABF and I donīt recall a single sign of chivalry. Had it be him he would have sent me for soda for his Jack Daniels late at night without blinking"
One time when I went to Europe I was watching people in the airport and went "YAY!! no one knows or cares about XABF in this continent"
And well even if you do all these things feelings might still linger there, I spent MONTHS very angry but its a mourning stage like any other and it passes. I feel its a taboo for women to feel angry or at least it was for me, never had examples of women feeling angry and expressing it in non harmful ways until now.
My mom throws in: Squeeze a towel and imagine its his neck. A trick learned in therapy.
Also am not sure if you are into art but for instance after breaking the bottles etc I plan to take pictures then edit them digitally and think of enigmatic titles such as "Pieces of your soul I am no longer putting together for you" or whatever else I would like to "say".. it can even be a Series ..
Throwing some ideas here, more hugs.