How to move on?
First off, I am a new member to this forum. I actually came across it because I was on Google to search for help for separation advice. I am not sure where to even start or begin.
For some background information, I am 24 years old and a stay at home mom of two beautiful children. My son is 5 and my daughter almost 2. Currently we live in 29 Palms Ca due to my husband being in the Marine Corps. I grew up with an alcoholic/ addict father, he did have 12 years sobriety while I was young. My brother is also an addict, and has been in and out of recovery since he was 13.
What brings me here now is my AH. Long story short I am fed up with the drinking. I would consider him to be a "functioning alcoholic". He is in the military so holding his job is not what you would call "optional" necessarily. He always did very very well in the Marine Corps. However, during his last deployment this past year he got into trouble (alcohol related, go figure) and he lost rank, and they took 2 months half pay for the first offense. He got in trouble a second time and did not loose rank but again they took half of a months pay for 2 months and put him on restriction to the barraks for 45 days. He couldn't even come home for 2 weeks after they got back from deployment because he was still on restriction.
Anyways, without all of the background because I could go on forever! I had told him before he got home from deployment that if he chose to still drink I did not want him back home. Well, I did not stand by that boundary and I ended up letting him back home. Of course I got the whole "I'm sorry", "I wont drink like this anymore" blah blah blah. He is now drinking at least 18 beers every single night. He isn't violent or anything, just plain ******* stupid and annoying. This is not the kind of example I want for my children either. I saw enough of that when I was little and I just hate that they are experiencing it now too.
Tonight, I told him that I was serious and that if he chooses to keep alcohol as a part of his life then he can no longer live with us. He just kept going around in circles saying that he loved me but that we obviously cannot live together. He cannot bring himself to admit that the problem in our marriage is alcohol. I am devastated and terrified. I am just now back in school, I took years off so I could raise my children. I am pursuing nursing but it will be a few years until I am even finished. I have been a stay at home mom now for 5 years. He can find a place to stay with a friend for now, but eventually I really don't see him getting sober and us getting back together. I am sooooo not in a financial position to even move out or support my kids on my own. I mean I'm sure I can find a job but since I have no formal education/degree most jobs I would be able to get wouldn't even cover child care. I am so scared and I just don't know what to do. The only thing I do know at this point is that I will not keep living with my husband.
If there are any other moms who have been through something like this I would really appreciate some wisdom/advise. I am so worried that I wont be able to provide for my children.
Jill