Well, made an appointment with another therapist. I'm having a really hard time focusing on myself.
I have my adult sons back in my house. I allowed this and own up to it. I didn't even want to share this part, because I've beaten myself up with this already. I get so emotionally drained that I can't even think of what's best for me.
I truly am beginning to understand how an addict feels....the pull of addiction, mine is to control the outcomes. It scares me to think how strong and deep rooted it is. I want that sweet relief quickly when I start feeling any kind of emotional pain.
I am still going forward with selling my home. I hang onto that hope, but realize that I can do whatever and it won't change a thing inside of me. I still need to work on these issues that keeps me chained to codependency. I just feel that if I can get away from all of this, I can get off this merry go round and think straight.
I keep hearing stories so similar to mine around me and on this site, so I know I'm not alone, although it feels like it. I also hold onto hope when I read of success stories of detachment.
Thanks for listening,
hope