This road is definitely a tough one to be on SentencedToLife. And I know just how you feel. I remember those days very clearly.
Relapsing is one of the things that scares me from coming off of the Done completely one day. I'm terrified to wake up that beast and lose myself and everything important to me all over again. And now I know from my previous weaning attempt just how much my cravings can actually come back once I get down to a certain point, and gradually get held less and less.
I hope you continue fighting for your sobriety and stay sober doing it to. It can be really tough to shake such a beast eh? My prayers go out to you and all recovering addicts who have to go through this hell. And I wish you the best of luck.
I remember when I would be coming off of dope back in the day.. I would use everything and anything to try and make myself feel a little bit better through it all. Of course, nothing would ever work. Except the only remedy that is, the one that got me there in the first place
.
Maybe you can look at some herbal remedies or something like that to try and ease the pain. I know that my Doctor said that he would prescribe me Clonidine once I was at 0 to help me with the heeby jeebies.
I am actually taking a natural, over the counter anti-depressant right now known as SAM-e myself. It actually works wonders for my SAD, and it really helps a lot with the fog that Methadone can sometimes cause to.
I don't know if any of these things would help your situation, but these are just some of the things that I would look into myself during my journey. Now keep in mind, I am not telling you to take anything, and I can't offer you any medical advice here, but maybe speaking to a Doctor about your situation might help?
Support groups can also be very helpful. And if you don't like those, maybe even working on the twelve steps from youw own computer can help? Here's a site yuo can check out if you're interested:
12Step.org for Sobriety, Strength and Serenity
Recovery forum sites like these can also be extremely helpful as well. We need all the support we can get, especially during such a rough period.
Best of luck to you on your journey out bro. "Sobriety is what you make of it".