QUOTE=Bertwash1
"I have always thought, I haven't read about anybody who doesn't drink everyday but once in awhile and then can't stop at that time. So I thought well it is just me being over controlling."
Hi Brother,
In reading your posts I also see my AW's issue. She goes a day or two of recovery (usually angry) then back to the wine bottle for "1 glass" then 5-7 glasses before she is done. Last year it was less, the year before it was less. It is getting worse.
Did I see this problem before we were married? Yes.
Did I think that I could deal with it after we were married? Yes.
Was I wrong? Yes.
There is a love/concern issue here although she says that I am trying to control her and that 'No man" is going to tell her what to do. On the other hand, last night, she told me that I was responsible that she got drunk and passed out in front of family because I did not remove her from the house in time to prevent them from witnessing it. Her concern was not that I did not stop her from drinking, because that is not possible or permitted. She said that if I loved her I would have forced her to leave before she humiliated herself. This refusal of accepting responsibility for her actions is not uncommon.
We are not in control of anyone but ourselves and we can't control them although they do play the control card as both their justification to drink themselves to oblivion and as their excuse for having drunk too much and made a fool of themselves.
And, yes my AW is high functioning, very popular, well loved by her friends, very caring for others, and always out to "Have fun." But since she has progressed to binge drinking 4-5 days a week, her "Fun" involves a lot of time without me as a partner. And our communications involve a couple of lines of e-mail and two or three sentences a day. So we are not "high functioning" in our marriage.
You are not alone. Stay strong, keep sharing here, take care of yourself first. There are a lot of very good people here who offer support. I get a lot of strength through them and I know that you will too.