Sex and Dating
Sorry if this is a bit private but I always wonder how it is for others...how is/was the sex life with the A? For me, it was the best imaginable and everything else seems mediocre. I always just looked at the psychological aspects when trying to understand why I stayed in such a toxic relationship and became so addicted to this person who was just awful in every other way. Duh, maybe because dude was really hot. Like, really REALLY hot! Stupid hot. Guess he wasn't the only one who'd regressed to a shallow teenager.
BPD partners always talk about how great the sex was, and how gorgeous the person was...plus that charm! I guess I'm realizing more lately that had SO much to do with how long I stayed.
Which brings me to dating...
Gave it a go and this guy was SO clingy, suffocating, smothering AFTER I specifically told him I had to take it at a super slow pace and be friends first. It was kind of almost creepy. I was repulsed. I think this repulsion has something to do with being on the receiving end of sappy diatribes and constant dramatic displays of affection.
Anyway, I am SO annoyed by this guy! Is this me attracting psychos? Been with just ONE an now the flood gates to Hell are wide open (honestly, who the hell has to spend every waking moment by your side, doting over you, after 2 dates and still doesn't chill after you tell them 5x)? Am I redirecting old feelings of anger from XABF to this poor guy? Are guys THAT clingy and smothering just THAT annoying?
Anyone else have a freak-out first time you dated after A? I think I am going to just find a sugar daddy. No emotional complications, no neediness, and the money will help with the tremendous debt XABF left me in. Ah, just kidding but made this joke to a friend earlier. Maybe celibacy?