Thanks, MG. I also want to add that some of us got so sick that we didn't have children and have never had a healthy partner. But we affect other people in the world, especially in the sex conduct area. As you say, water seeks its own level and not only did we become our parents, we chose people just like our parents.
I am at the place right now where I know I have to break free, but even after all the work I've done in the 12 steps in AA I still can't sleep so I'm dependent on my parents for $ support for survival. This keeps the insanity going and I'm still the family Scapegoat for the comfort and security of others and for their own selfish agenda.
A few years ago i couldn't hold up boundaries and let a very violent man into my life. It was getting worse and worse. So for now I'm staying away from all love relationships until I can get myself out from under financially.
I've had to apply for public housing vouchers and get $ help from other sources. It is a very slow, tedious process and I'm doing it all exhausted. But I will prevail.
They are trying to pull me in all the harder as I come out of denial but ultimately I will leave them to themselves.
I understand them and have compassion for them, and I also have worked through the guilt of letting them be on their own path with God, whatever that will look like.
If I want to do God's work and help other people recover, this is all necessary.
This will be the final stage of my recovery - working through my childhood issues and changing my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual attachments to it.
I have no doubt I'll sleep once I detach, and be able to show up for my life.
I don't know anything else beyond that. This is my next humongous step.