Originally Posted by
hope2be 
I still try to control the situation so that I don't have to do feel the pain, fear, or abandonment of them leaving.
This is one of the most honest things I have read on this forum.
When was the last time you saw four adult birds sitting in the same nest?
Since you are a nurse, I assume you have health care, including therapy. Might you use those benefits and seek help to learn how to cope with letting go?