Originally Posted by
TatsX 
I was hoping someone else understood.
Oh yes. I was the queen of sneaking drinks. I got caught too. This felt really awful at the time. I was very ashamed. Also desperate, since I had been doing it for a long time. Heck, when I was 13 years old I was sneaking liquor out of my parent's cabinet and watering the bottles, and from there it only got worse. So I really didn't know a different way of living when I finally got caught at the age of 38.
Turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me, though, because it was what I needed to commit myself to quit. For me it was like this: I decided that even if I died in the process, I was going to quit. Perhaps this sounds dramatic but I am not embellishing anything. That was how it was for me.
I did not die of course, and it's 13 years later, and I've quit drinking, no relapses.