Hi again. Thanks Gwenyth. I met my husband at around 24ish and I drank and partied a lot too. But, then it's like I grew up and out of it, and he didn't? Then I noticed how uncomfortable I would get and I how I would just want to "not be here". Then in the last couple of years we have started to argue alot and I am so, so bitter and resentful...it scares even me. But, I have started to let that go and 'own' my piece of that. He didn't ask me to overcompensate or take care of him - I did that on my own. So, I can't resent him for doing something he didn't ask of me. I should have treated him like an adult along time ago - but, I didn't know how to do that. As I've said before, I've never been in a healthy family environment, so I'm not sure what that would look like? BUT, like you - I kept telling myself that something was wrong with him - is he depressed? bi-polar? did something tragic happen when he was young? what is it?? It just didn't make sense. Now I realize it is alcholism - and I am totally at the mercy of God and people who know more than me and my ability to learn from them. He knows he's an A - I know he does - he's as much as said it...but, he's not ready to do anything about it. and I still struggle so with these boundaries. What is the ultimate boundary? a divorce, right? So, if you're not quite ready to make that decision, what are the in-between boundaries? And is that a joke, since he probably 'thinks' I'd never divorce him? Can there be such a thing as the in between boundaries? You would think for being the daughter of a psychologist, a sister of a recovered addict, and the sister of a surviver of sexual abuse I would have caught on to this manipulation business, but like we said earlier...I'm slow