Peaches - it's been a long time in coming. We've been married for 2 years. I had no idea he was an alcoholic when we got married. About 6 months into our marriage, I started finding hidden alcohol bottles & thought something was amiss (before that... funny story...we had an open bar at our wedding - neither of us drank that night - but the caterers gave us all the extra alcohol...which was TONS. We kept it in our pantry and about 3 months after our wedding, I went to dust off the bottles. Not only did they not need dusting...ha ha...they were empty. My AH told me they must have evaporated. I didn't know that much about alcohol - I was 24 when I had my first drink, so I thought "okay.")
At first, I thought the drinking was caused by depression, so I found doctor after doctor to see him re depression/bipolar (afterall, he was too depressed to get in touch with Drs., so I did it for him). Turns out, it was the drinking causing the depression/bipolar! Not sure why it FINALLY clicked in my head, but in May I realized he was an alcoholic and made him to go to detox. When he relapsed (big surprise considering I forced him into detox), I gave him the choice of rehab or moving out. Now I finally get it, my AH is an alcoholic and I am not to enable him OR control his recovery. I just want to figure out what it is that I am suppose to do - and I figure those who have gone before me know a whole lot more than I do!
Stay encouraged Peaches - it's comforting that we are not in this alone.