Innerchild

For years, on and off I used alcohol to numb the emotional pain I felt. Since last June, I was drinking almost every day and ended up in the crisis units of hospitals quite a few times after being so drunk I felt like killing myself.

The Friday before Christmas my boyfriend called the cops on me after I blacked out txted him I wanted to kill myself. I was admitted for four days and monitored every hour to make sure I wasnt withdrawing from alcohol. Thank God I wasnt physically addicted to it. I was there over Christmas and the Tues. after I was discharged then that same day admitted myself into another psych unit after some other bad things happened that same day.

I was there for a week. I was put on Celexa for depression and Buspar for anxiety. I refused anti depressants for years but I was so depressed and so tired of using alcohol to self medicate. It wasnt a great experience but I needed to go through being admitted into a psych unit to get away from alcohol and to turn my life around.

I was discharged after a week last Tues. I havent drank in over two weeks and I don't have any desire at the moment because I am level headed, not being verbally abusive, I dont wake up with awful hangovers, and not doing stupid impulsive things.
I tell myself I CANT drink not even one. I was drinking so much and I am lad its out of my life for right now. I know the urge to drink will hit again but I have to fight to keep away from it. Alcohol is poison and nothing good comes out of it. It really was screwing up my life.