You know, I really think diabetics are wimps for taking insulin. I mean, if they just exercised more or got out among other people more or forced themselves to do something they love, clearly, the chemical imbalance in their bodies would
just fix itself...
Oh, and then I think I'm a little upset at you for stealing my brain and typing up my thoughts, too....
I'm deliberately slugging through this winter without antidepressants. Last winter, I was pumping enough adrenaline for a small country to subside on (in the middle of Ugly Divorce Proceedings). This winter, I decided I wanted to see
quite how bad it gets without medication. But in doing that -- I've enlisted people to help me out. One of them told me before Christmas that she was worried about me, that I seemed to have lost steam and that I was very irritable for no reason detectable to anyone outside me.
For me, this winter is about giving myself what I need. Last weekend, I didn't leave the house. I stayed inside, stayed in bed, slept a lot, watched favorite movies, ordered in favorite food, and just did what I felt like. Without feeling guilty, without telling myself I really
should do all those things people tell you to do when you're depressed.
Because for me, NOT listening to myself was what landed me in depression. Putting myself last. Doing for everyone else. And I can tell you that if antidepressants at some point becomes what I feel I need again, I'll call my doc.
It's not a failure. It's a chemical imbalance. You deal with it, you're better capable of dealing with the rest of life.