I too will say WELCOME BACK.
and I made the mistake of believing that people who are in recovery must surely be living the 12 steps. Surely.
As a recovering alcoholic/addict with over 30 years continuous recovery, I have to tell my sponsees to watch someone's ACTIONS, to see if they walk the way they talk IN ALL THEIR AFFAIRS, ie jobs, home life, social situations, etc
There are many in 12 step programs and other programs that are 'living' their recovery, there are also a GREAT MANY that are still 'putting on a show', and eventually it will 'trip them up.'
I am sorry you have found yourself with one of the latter. Any time I run across one of the "12 step Gurus" I take 3 steps back and watch. I also warn my sponsees about the said 'Gurus' that I know of.
Gurus usually do 'zero in on' another's 'weak points'. Something exuding from our 'insides' not our outsides. Over these many years I have come to realize that I attract to me folks that have 'similar' insides to mine. So what I had to do for me, is really really work VERY HARD on me. Clean out the damage and wreckage of my own past, continue to work hard in Alanon to get rid of my codependency issues, and in the process have found that I am attracting a different type of person these days, ones who have also worked very hard on themselves.
You know when you sober up an asshat, many times all you have is a sober asshat. lol
So pull up your keyboard, vent, rant, rave, cry, scream, and yes even laugh. Share your ES&H and we will share ours.
Good to see you back and participating!!
Love and hugs,