Glad that you are back and I feel that what you have shared is so powerful......I appreciate that you took the time to write this.
I've struggled with my how my husband (who I am now separated from) got "sober" and did "recovery for about 1 1/2 years. Then he stopped. I had it in my head that if only he went to meetings that maybe he wouldn't be the self-centered and narcissistic man that I lived with. After reading your post I realize that I had been tormenting myself with shoulda, woulda, couldas.....and that nothing really guarantees "right acting".
I think that I've taken another step in my own recovery after reading your post and feeling another light bulb turn on. I hope that you will continue to post.
Thanks!