itsa funny thing this being on the other side of the fence. and it is not just addiction, it is narcissism. something deep inside does not feel right. we become aware of it, but any defense against it erodes as little things like calls or letters or whatever, make us say, nah, it cant be that bad. something that feels so deeply has to be real. but htere are cons out there. whether they intend to be or not, they are cons. sometimes they live the fantasy as much as us. so, we go along hoping, pushing down red flags, holding on, until we jsut give up and give in or we have that wake up. sometimes we dont know anything else, or forget what a healthy relationship feels like. its hard to find yourself in the middle of the wilderness alone, but sometimes we are better off that way.