Thanks so much Cyranoak for beginning this thread. I was one of those "posters" you were talking about who has been pining for my EXABF. He left me rather than quit drinking and I beat myself up for it continuously for the last 6 months. He BTW moved on very quickly.
Lately I have come to the conclusion that HE in fact did me a favor. When I told him that asking him to quit or I would leave was the most loving thing I could do for him he agreed, however he made his choice. He doesn't want to quit drinking and is taking his addiction into his new relationship. I've heard that A's don't have relationships they take hostages.
I'm working on my Al Anon program and I am beginning to get healthier. In time when I feel recovered I'll venture into the dating scene again.
There is a new lightness in my chest due to this acceptance. I was loved as much as anyone can be loved by someone in the throes of addiction.
I didn't cause it, I can't cure it and no amount of love can control it...
Thanks again