Thank you, my friends.
Well, I certainly don't want to engage in any "my addict/my life is worse than yours". But, as a sort of newbie, my sharing usually consists of how someone w/ E, S and H may have shared about how the program has helped them and I usually follow by sharing with how I NEED to do more letting go, more "is it THAT important?", less expectations, in GOD's time, etc. So inevitably, I am including how I sometimes I still try to control my AH's life by______ or________. Or, how I should not have reacted to his ____________and ___________.
So even though I'm not trying to "give the scoop" on my RAH, or cut him down, there's still stuff that I am not comfortable with her hearing about me/him/us. She has already made it clear that his addiction is my fault, I don't deserve him, he deserves better, etc. I don't need her having another reason to support her feelings. I have connected with the members outside of the rooms. I am thinking that at some point, I will be able to express my feelings on the matter to a sponsor and she can give me some direction. In the meantime, I think I'll continue w/ my Thursday meeting, make phone calls, post here, continue step work, until I find it's appropriate to share the matter w/ my sponsor (who I don't have yet)
Thanks for letting me share!!