That's a tough one. Since MIL goes to several meetings in the area, would it be possible to negotiate one meeting that she doesn't go to?
Many of us know people in the meetings through outside sources. I am a business owner in my community. People know me. I simply can't worry (or control) what they take out of a meeting and share with others. I hope that they don't but I cannot control it.
In meetings, I am not sharing about the antics of the addict in my life. I am sharing what I am learning about myself. I am trying to understand how I need to change myself not how I can impact change in the life of the addict. I am looking inward and realizing that my behaviors are what are causing my misery--not necesarily the behaviors of the addict--its my reaction to their behaviors.
Often, in meetings, particularly in the Nar-Anon meeting I go to, members are sharing the antics of their addicts--sometimes almost a "my addict is worse than your addict" contest. I have to remind myself not to participate in that manner and share my thoughts on how I AM growing and changing and how that applies to or is aided by the NarAnon 12 Steps. The meetings are really about us......not about the addict.
It's sad that we sometimes are unable to attend a meeting because of the attendance/behavior of others in the meeting. I also go to AlAnon meetings in addition to the NarAnon and find them very effective as well.
There are also online meetings that you may explore. I loved the suggestion of making friends within the NarAnon group and exploring things outside of the normal meeting. Perhaps finding a sponsor within the group may be a thought?
gentle hugs
ke