Hi,
So, I have 11 days back from my relapse and I am starting a new job today. I've always suffered from anxiety and depression, which is one of the reasons I started drinking. It alleviated those feelings real fast, only to have them come back 10 times worse a few hours or days later.
Now, I can't drink. I have to feel the anxiety, the queeziness this morning. And, damn is it hard. I have medication for my depression, which is supposed to alleviate some of my anxiety also, but I still feel it. Learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings is something I have been working on for awhile, but I still have a lot of difficulty functioning when I feel like this.
I put immense pressure on myself to know everything the first day and not make any mistakes, which isn't realistic. Plus many other thoughts running through my head. All mostly negative. I need to work on that.
Well, I am leaving soon for work. Sober. Wish me luck!
