Starting a new job today..nervous.
Starting a new job today..nervous.
Hi,
So, I have 11 days back from my relapse and I am starting a new job today. I've always suffered from anxiety and depression, which is one of the reasons I started drinking. It alleviated those feelings real fast, only to have them come back 10 times worse a few hours or days later.
Now, I can't drink. I have to feel the anxiety, the queeziness this morning. And, damn is it hard. I have medication for my depression, which is supposed to alleviate some of my anxiety also, but I still feel it. Learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings is something I have been working on for awhile, but I still have a lot of difficulty functioning when I feel like this.
I put immense pressure on myself to know everything the first day and not make any mistakes, which isn't realistic. Plus many other thoughts running through my head. All mostly negative. I need to work on that.
Well, I am leaving soon for work. Sober. Wish me luck!
So, I have 11 days back from my relapse and I am starting a new job today. I've always suffered from anxiety and depression, which is one of the reasons I started drinking. It alleviated those feelings real fast, only to have them come back 10 times worse a few hours or days later.
Now, I can't drink. I have to feel the anxiety, the queeziness this morning. And, damn is it hard. I have medication for my depression, which is supposed to alleviate some of my anxiety also, but I still feel it. Learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings is something I have been working on for awhile, but I still have a lot of difficulty functioning when I feel like this.
I put immense pressure on myself to know everything the first day and not make any mistakes, which isn't realistic. Plus many other thoughts running through my head. All mostly negative. I need to work on that.
Well, I am leaving soon for work. Sober. Wish me luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Good luck on your new job. It's all in the your head and as long as you don't drink then you should be okay. First day is always the most nervous for most people but it's also the easiest day to because you just need to learn the roles.
What job are you doing?
What job are you doing?
Sitting with uncomfortable feelings... yea I get that. We have programmed ourselves to calm those feelings with alcohol and other stuff, just like we quench our thirst or eat when we are hungry...
You can break it, but it takes practice.
Good luck today! Prayers....
You can break it, but it takes practice.
Good luck today! Prayers....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
A first day is just that -- like kindergarten. Just let the fear pass through you. It's real, it's a feeling, and all feelings pass. For me, that was the hardest part of getting sober, the feelings, actually feeling them. They sucked for a long time. Many still do.
But at least we aren't numbing feelings to nothingness now. You are supposed to be anxious, and humans (those normal, non-addicted types at your new job) will allow you to be nervous. Just kill them with kindness, humility, and something that is hard for this alcoholic and addict: Honesty. Just smile and say, "Hi, I'm nervous!"
Gets 'em every time.
Let us know how you did. Good luck. Go with the flow. And come home from work tired, a little frustrated from the mistakes you make, the social snafus you might tumble into, and relax. Take a shower. Watch some TV. Get your clothes ready for the next day of work. Take your meds. And chill. And feel proud.
And don't drink. Congratulations. You just knocked another 24 off the clock sober.
But at least we aren't numbing feelings to nothingness now. You are supposed to be anxious, and humans (those normal, non-addicted types at your new job) will allow you to be nervous. Just kill them with kindness, humility, and something that is hard for this alcoholic and addict: Honesty. Just smile and say, "Hi, I'm nervous!"
Gets 'em every time.
Let us know how you did. Good luck. Go with the flow. And come home from work tired, a little frustrated from the mistakes you make, the social snafus you might tumble into, and relax. Take a shower. Watch some TV. Get your clothes ready for the next day of work. Take your meds. And chill. And feel proud.
And don't drink. Congratulations. You just knocked another 24 off the clock sober.
Hi Sweets!
I'm sure you'll do great, and of course, no one expects you to know everything on the first day, or even the first week.
I do understand how the anxiety makes things more difficult. I feel so much stress in those kinds of situations. Remember to eat well during the day too, to keep your energy level even.
I'm sure you'll do great, and of course, no one expects you to know everything on the first day, or even the first week.
I do understand how the anxiety makes things more difficult. I feel so much stress in those kinds of situations. Remember to eat well during the day too, to keep your energy level even.
Wow, thank you all for the support and encouragement. Reading all your replies, really made me smile
I just got home, and it wasn't that bad at all. I trained with a nice woman. I didn't do much but watch her, take some notes, and practice a bit on the computer. I go back in tomm from 9-1 also to train. I am training all week actually.
Act10n, it's a receptionist position in a spa. Should be relaxing right? lol I had a hot cup of tea and sat at my desk, just trying to take everything in, sober.
I've drank before going into other jobs, and I would rinse with mouthwash and brush my teeth 3 times, but they still smelled it on me! I remember being so embarrassed but I was willing to do anything to calm my nerves (drinking)
Yes, this is a new chapter in my life, and I really should focus on the positive instead of always worrying about messing up and what could go wrong. I am going to try to focus on the positive this afternoon/evening.
I am going to eat something good, relax, watch some TV, and congratulate myself on feeling all the anxiety and fear (and in my head it is blown way out of proportion), yet going in today, without a drink.
I just got home, and it wasn't that bad at all. I trained with a nice woman. I didn't do much but watch her, take some notes, and practice a bit on the computer. I go back in tomm from 9-1 also to train. I am training all week actually.
Act10n, it's a receptionist position in a spa. Should be relaxing right? lol I had a hot cup of tea and sat at my desk, just trying to take everything in, sober.
I've drank before going into other jobs, and I would rinse with mouthwash and brush my teeth 3 times, but they still smelled it on me! I remember being so embarrassed but I was willing to do anything to calm my nerves (drinking)
Yes, this is a new chapter in my life, and I really should focus on the positive instead of always worrying about messing up and what could go wrong. I am going to try to focus on the positive this afternoon/evening.
I am going to eat something good, relax, watch some TV, and congratulate myself on feeling all the anxiety and fear (and in my head it is blown way out of proportion), yet going in today, without a drink.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Glad to hear the day went so well for you.
First day on the job probably makes everyone a little anxious and sounds like you handled it like a pro.
It will only get better from here.
Keep up the good work.
First day on the job probably makes everyone a little anxious and sounds like you handled it like a pro.
It will only get better from here.
Keep up the good work.
I know jobs are tough to find right now. I'm sure after awhile I will learn all the ins and out of the job, but it seems difficult now. I guess because it's so new. The computer seems hard, the phones can get crazy, I don't know the prices of everything, and there's alot of questions I can't answer yet. I don't know alot, but that's to be expected.
I just need to remind myself this is a brand new endeavor and I am only human. And, no matter what, don't pick up that drink.
Good luck to you, Flaming
Great job on your first day. I also get anxiety and also used alcohol as a medication which of course only made things worse. After I quit drinking for good it was really hard and I had plenty of bad days but the longer I went without drinking those bad days seemed to appear less and less often. Yes I still have anxiety and I am approaching six months but I am so much more happy and in control than I have ever been. It takes time and the anxiety will never go away completely but it will never be as bad as it was when I was drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
A healthy level of anxiety/nervousness I believe is good. It means you plan to take it seriously. Keep alcohol out of the equation (you mentioned you recently relapsed). Even though you are brand new and probably a bit intimidated and scared, you'd be surprised how much a positive attitude and a genuine interest in learning as fast as you can helps. Your employer will notice that. Just imagine trying to do it with a hangover or going through withdrawal. yuk. You'll be fine. Hmm, do you get an employee discount at this spa?? That would be a nice reward down the road!
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