Personally, I wouldn't even consider getting back together with someone until they demonstrated the ability to make it on their own. Living with relatives for free, while you struggle to make ends meet, doesn't really inspire confidence in an equal partner. Let alone whining about how tough he has it. Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that getting sober is hard. But if it were me, I would really think twice about resuming a cohabitation with someone until they proved they could do it on their own.
L