I agree with NC. I'm an RA and recovering codie. When I was still using, I relished in being angry and blaming people for MY problems. Anything that was said to me, no matter how true or how much I needed to hear it, was just fuel for more complaints about how my life sucked.
When people finally started shutting me out, consequences piled up, I was forced to look at myself. I chose recovery, not everyone does.
I understand the guilt - I lived with that for a long time, but it's not yours to carry. If all else fails, I like what I've heard here as a response - "hmmmm". It tends to make a conversation really quick, as they can't argue/defend/blame if the other person isn't saying anything.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy