(((NewImage))) - I'm sorry for what you are going through. FWIW, I'm in recovery for crack addiction as well as codependency with loved ones who are/were addicts.
She says she can't stop drugs just like that - physically, yes she can because she did it when she got arrested. I abused and got addicted for over 20 years, but I did quit. No rehab for me, though I know it is the first step in recovery for a lot of people.
I think you're doing great, though I know it doesn't feel that way. My dad bailed me out once, the other times I stayed in jail and then a diversion center for 6 months.
SHE sees "being there for her" as letting her do what she wants and picking up the pieces. All addicts want that. Had my dad done that, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead or in prison instead of coming up on 5 years of recovery.
You were also right that she can use her resourcefulness to get recovery. We addicts are really good at getting what we want - it can be a bad thing, when we're using, but it comes in really handy when we choose recovery.
I had to face a lot of bad consequences before I was done - am still dealing with some of them. I do know, though, that I will forever be grateful to my loved ones who allowed me to face those consequences and find my way back out of the hole I'd dug myself into.
Big hugs and prayers, as I know this isn't easy.
Amy