I also feel I'm not ready to go out drinking with friends because I think I would end up numbing my pain, eventually blacking out.
Hey Panda,
I am recovering from alcohol, and one of the little sayings is "there is nothing so bad that drinking can't make worse."
I agree it would probably be best to stay away from any mind numbing or emotional blocking you could get with alcohol.
And, take it from Ms. Blackout of 1996, there is an awful burning shame after a black out that I cannot explain in words that comes with a black out.
Stay home and chill. Make a list of one hundred great things about Panda.
I will start with 1. Asks for help when she needs it (this was tough for me).
Beth
Take good care of yourself.