How did I accept never again? After years of waking up ill and nauseous and shaking so badly I could not hold my first cup of coffee with scotch in it to stop the shakes then followed by two more fast with scotch to start the steadying I needed to be normal. Sometimes I would vomit it and have to try again. Then all day drinking beer and boxed wine and mixed drinks at night for from 30-40 units a day. I had built up my tolerance to such a point that I did not stumble or slur. After that for the last two years, and swearing I would stop on the tomorrow that never comes a hundred times, I knew I had to quit for good. So I finally did September 21 2010. I never look back. NO feeling like I want to drink ever again. See. I already drank tens of thousands of drinks and don't need to see what it is like anymore. The high is not missed. I don't want to run away. I admitted I didn't even like the taste when I was at my worst, and was amazed that I still drank. Now I don't and won't ever again.