love goes out to you holly. i understand your pain in both your heart and your head. please allow yourself to know that you are doing the best possible thing for your son. you need to know this. please take this time away from him to be good to yourself. focus on you. you have given many many years of your life for this young man. it is time for him to...yes....man up. you told him exactly what you should have. take this time and discover who you are today. be kind and loving to yourself for a change. good luck and good love....mags