It's 2:32AM awake and on day 6
I can also relate a lot to your posts. I just hit my "rock bottom" last Thursday. I think for years, I have had a problem but there were always people worse and it wasn't like I was drinking in the morning. But one drink was never enough! I have put myself in some scary situations and this week I found myself messing up in the one place I always had figured out... my job. I love what I do and since I graduated college it has defined me. The rest of my life has been a bit of a mess... wrong boyfriends, battling bulimia, self-esteem issues none of which reared there heads at work. At work I was a rock star. This week I let the alcohol come out and I made an a## out of myself. Everyone knows and while what I did was bad it wasn't nearly as bad as some of my other blackout experiences which happens about 5-6 times a year for the past 10 years. So I went to my first AA meeting tonight and I'm going to start this journey. It just scares me to think of my life without drinking. Does this mean I can't have a glass of champagne on my wedding day? Do I have to get all new friends? How am I going to get a new bf as in my early 30s this is all people do. I guess as they say, you can just take one day at a time. All i know is that I dont want to go to work tomorrow and i havent felt like that ever before!