You have so much to think and deal with. In my situation, it became clear that my now ex-bf doesn't want to be sober and there was nothing I can do about that. He made excuses for his using and I had enough of it. It seems like the men we love and hurt us in return have had everything handed to them and we feel this need to take care of them. I'm starting to see that walking away and starting to take care of myself was the best thing I had to do. He started to see that he needed to take care of himself before being with me and all I can say is that I hope he wants to get help and stay sober.
Hang in there hun and think about what it is that you want and what's best for you and your kids. I'll say a prayer for you and keep you in my thoughts.