Treading New Waters
Hello SR Family,
Just to update:
My 2 AS is living with me, one is going to a Mental Health Clinic, the other is doing nothing but being obnoxious. They both get up and begin their day with energy drinks. My house is a mess, my threats to clean up do not work.
I also have an AD with her child (grandson) that comes home every other week b/c she has 50/50 custody and he is enrolled in school here. It doesn't matter how chaotic it is here, she shows up with him, probably due to the child support that she would not get if she did not have him with her.
I have recently gone to a very dark place in my mind. No, I did not contemplate suicide, but understood where someone needs to be to do it.
It is in this dark place that I let go and let God. I surrendered all to him because I had nothing left inside of me. There was no fight.
I reached out and began contacting friends, reading and FINALLY went to my first appt with a counselor. After discussing my situation, it became crystal clear that I cannot hold on to the maddness anymore....I cannot save them. There is just not enough of me to do that.
So, I've decided my goal in the near future is to live alone. I have Plan A and PLan B which I have related to my ACs:
Plan A - Give them the therapist card, tell them to make an appt and we will all eventually do Family Therapy. They must all agree or leave (I have threatened/thrown them out, but to no avail).
Plan B - Put my house up for sale. I have but few good memories here and they seem to think it will always be their home, since their father died.
THE END RESULTS WOULD BE THE SAME, NO MATTER WHAT...I LIVE ALONE.
It took no more than 60 seconds to deliver the message to them. I wanted no discussion, nor did I want to hear their comments.
One thing the therapist said was I love my ACs with a Mother's love and I will be sad. I guess I just kept wanting to avoid the sadness, but it is liberating that at 57 yrs old (young?), I can actually plan out the rest of my life without having this heavy weight bringing me down.
I'm asking for support and would like to hear from parents who have been there/done that. I've read a recent post on similar and it strengthens my will to get this done.
Huggs to all