welcome to S.R. what makes u think u can help him now you could not do it in 41/2 yrs? you have not been helping him you have been enableing him. he has told u to help yourself & that is my advice. work your recovery & detach from him. i do not mean to be to the point but there is a good life out there for u.. read around at all the post & the stickys at the top of the forum. prayers for you,