i've lived my entire life with the world at arm's length, never fully honest, never fully trusting, and never fully understanding the use of either.
I lived that way for much of my childhood and the whole of my adult life NC - I wasn't expecting that to change when I stopped drinking, but it did - because I changed as a person.
I was just expecting not to drink - instead I got a fresh start and a fresh sense of my capabilities and my future.
I also got the chance to work on some long standing issues...when I felt ready to do that
You have the rest of your life to get this right NC - it may seem like it at times, but there really is no hurry
D