Originally Posted by
oneday66 
I feel bad for him but he needs to face the consequences of his addiction and I don't want to spend Christmas with him while he's actively using or crashing.
Obvious what he needs and what you think he needs are two differnt things. Not wanting to spend Christmas with him while he's actively using is a healthy boundary for you.
We'll fight and I really can't see myself having sex with him right now. I may have dinner with him after christmas but only if I feel like it and he acts decently.
Is something going to change between Christmas and after Christmas? Sometimes we attempt to impose punishment and /or try to control others with our so called boundaries. I know I did.
This is horrible. Should have been our first christmas together as a married couple. Instead he's probably high now, we don't live together and I'm wondering how long this can go on in limbo like it has.... one day at a time.
This is indeed horrible. What you thought should have been is not the reality of the situation. It will go on for as long as you allow it to do so. You can either accept him as is/where is or not. It's that tween spot you are in that's a real killer, one day at a time.