to discover that the rest of the world DOES see the craziness for what it is, and sees good in me. I have discovered I don't need to defend myself to my parents, because my life of integrity has spoken volumes without me ever saying a word to these people at church. I have found out my parents' words are backfiring on them.
I found this out from other family members. Discovering that my grandmother and my Uncle believed me all my life, even when I was in single-digits in age, and didn't believe my mom (or even my dad necessarily), was eye-opening. And liberating. And a huge weight was lifted.
They still wouldn't talk about the elephant in the living room (this was years ago), but in private, they acknowledged it to me. That made a HUGE difference in how I led my life.
To everyone else who may still be wondering if the problem is with them: it's not. You're not the crazy one. There IS an elephant in the living room, you didn't put it there, and you can't remove it. You don't need other people to acknowledge it, and you will drive yourself crazy attempting to get them to admit the elephant's existance. But I will admit to you that the elephant is in your living room, that it has always been there, and that you didn't put it there.
For several years before my dad was arrested, I considered going no contact. Now that we're in a court enforced no contact, I realize that I didn't need to go no contact, I needed to go "no crazy." I have changed the way I react to the world, I can control that. If other people want to be crazy, that's their business. But I refuse to be. So I do my best to stay centered on me, to keep my crazy to myself and not inflict it on others, to not allow the elephant into
my house.
I don't think I could go no contact entirely. But I do know that I can go "no crazy."