Originally Posted by
Meggy 
Thank you everyone for your supportive words. I have looked into al anon meetings, but right now I feel that going would be like saying "I don't trust you can do this". As negative as it sounds, I will wait for a relapse before I go.
Al anon is for you, to help you deal with everything you've been (are going)through. It has nothing to do with you being or not supportive of him.
Things you learn there can help you to be even more supportive, or better to say help you give the right kind of support like understanding it is not helpful to deny yourself of recovery in order to make an (R)A feel better. It is helpful for an A to let him take responsiblity for his own life and actions without you trying to coushion the life for him.
There is no al anon in my country, I only have this place, but even though my RAH is in recovery for awhile now, I still come here as this is for me, not him. I'm in the place where I feel it is time to give back all that help I was given here when I needed it the most, and by giving back I'm receiving so much too.
Regardless of wether your husband stays sober or not IMHO it is crucial you work on yourself, so that way even if he stays sober and starts working on recovery you'll be able to enjoy your own life without constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And if he doesn't you'll have the tools to make your own life better. It is a win win kind of thing.
Don't base your happiness on someone else's actions, as that way you're bound to get hurt.
This is my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest.
I wish you well