Originally Posted by Wallflower
An affair would just be something fun, exciting and something to look forward to and take my mind of my troubles. Nothing more.
Yes it would be more ... MUCH more. You would have the shame and guilt of having betrayed your spouse's love and trust. You would have the shame and guilt of having betrayed your childrens' love and trust. What kind of person do you think gets involved with a married woman? Do you really think that sort of relationship would be benificial to you? You may experience a temporary escape from your troubles but the aftermath of the affair would ultimately increase your problems a hundred fold! What if it resulted in an STD? What if it produced another child? You are treading dangerous waters.
"I am afraid that he is going to eventually die and I will be left alone to pick up the pieces."
an affair is going to help that scenario in what way? Suppose your new friend decides he doesn't need a needy widow with children from a previous marriage in his life?
"I am also afraid of starting over. I am college educated, but have been out of the work force for 5+ years."
and next year it will be six years, the year after that it will be seven years. Consider this. What will happen if you DO get a job? Your self esteeme will soar. Your children will have a stronger more resourceful mother. Most children actually benefit from a good day care. THey are more articulate, more social and better prepared for school. Have you looked into the local services? Contact a womens shelter or the United Way. There are often FREE programs that will help you with your resume' and prepare you to enter the workforce. There are even government assistant programs that might help pay the cost of day care for a period of time. If you choose a daycare near your children's school, they will probably pick them up after school and even take them in the mornings if you need them to do so.