When I first landed here, I was looking for ideas how to fix my daughter. I was convinced at the time I was different- my daughter was different- my story was different than all the others. I was beyond the tea and sympathy stage and fighting for my daughter's life.
I thought, to put it nicely, some of the posters confused me with my addict daughter cause they kept talking bout my recovery. And some were persistent and consistent in their " tell it like it is" responses to posts.
I read the stickies and thousands of back stories on all the forums and eventually, the proverbial ah-ha moment came, in a nick of time. I had tied my own emotional, physical and financial stability to my ability to fix and cure my daughter's addiction. My own ego was driving me insane. Accepting I was powerless over my daughter and her choices was the most humbling experience of my life.
Letting go of my fantasy that I controlled the outcome was like lifting the weight of the world off my back. Tough love for me means being tough with myself and taking responsibility for my reactions to people and things I do not control. Letting go most definitely does not mean ceasing to care. Peace.