I have to agree that the best advice I have gotten on here has been that advice that could be construed as tough love. However, if the same advice was given to me a year ago I would have been pissed and told that person where they could stick their advice! I wasn't ready to hear it before... Now I am. Ive come to a point that I know my love cannot save my ALO, no matter how much i want it to. Someone on here said that true unconditional love is doing what's best for our loved ones, not what feels good to us. Someone else kindly reminded me that my helping was part of the problem. These are things I HAD to hear, even if I didn't want to hear them. And when I'm feeling sorry for myself I go back to those posts for strength. I am deeply thankful for the tough love I've received on this board.