My recent posts on this forum about recovery and who has been supportive have been what has worked for me to eventually surface above the mire. I've had much negativity and judgmental opinions in my real life that burdened the weight on my already heavy consciousness.
For me, unless the person knows exactly what is going on in my head, knows exactly what I am walking through, then it is very unlikely they will know the exact remedy/solution for what will work in my recovery. I received 'tough love' from around 2-3 friends (who had never had any dealings with addiction in their lives) - who basically shut me out because they couldn't handle it and just couldn't understand why I would not leave my ex. They are now re-surfacing in my life (their choice) and have recently admitted that they felt helpless to my plight and had to step away because it scared them. I've had family members write me off because of my honesty about my life with my ex... that it also was 'too much' for them to listen to.
So I limited who I let in to my hellish vortex. I would never tell my stories just to bitch about it and do nothing. My brain was never stopping as to find a solution (yes, how to fix my addicted loved one) and most recently, how to fix (accept) myself. So at the beginning of this year, I came onto this forum because I didn't have anywhere else to turn to.
I can see from above that others welcome all forms of input and help and I shouldn't knock that, especially if it keeps them coming back to this forum and gets them stronger in their own personal lives/journey.
The tough love that I see to be extreme here may be just the right thing for somebody else and it's not for me to judge that... especially if the recipient welcomes it. And for me to judge the seasoned posters on here who issue their advice and tell it like it is --- was not fair. I apologize. You are trying to help in your way and though it would not help me in my life, it seems as though it has helped many others.
I am in a very strange (but good!) stage of my recovery at this time... - fatigue (yes), anger (hell yes), hopefulness (yes yes yes) and excitement for the future (yes!). All of these combined can make for some pretty grueling feelings to come to the surface -- and project onto others... (chagrin).
Hoping everyone has a peaceful evening...
Gbless...
