I have in no way arrived at the place I am at today "ON MY OWN" I have had the counsel, support, advice, suggestions, insight, shoulders, a$$ kicks, reminders, experience, strength and hope of hundreds!! This is a WE program, not a "do it on your own" program.
Trying to control the voice of the WE, as in which is appropriate is a controlling behavior.
In sorting out my own grief and working through the processes there are areas which trigger shame, resentment and anger. RE: my sponsor told me I was in "love with a fantasy". What is important for me is to dig deep and see why someone else's comments resonate in such a strong way as to evoke anger and shame. There is a lesson to be had in our inter-connected-ness.
There's always the old "you spot it you got it" reference. Something in those posts is eating your lunch...and I bet if you dig deep you will find some fertile muck for a lotus to grow. Defensive sensibility usually signals defending something.