I for one have needed to learn another way and took the suggestions here because they were exactly what I heard from therapists, Naranon the cops and the addictions counsellor at my AS's detox. Doing things differently had to be done quickly for me. I had to say No, or I would have put myself in danger and my husband. Maybe I wasn't ready to enforce these boundaries...but I did it anyway .....and thank God I did. Sometimes if we learn and do what others who have gone before us suggest...we can alleviate much pain for ourselves.
Also...I have heard that the suicide thing, though it is to be taken seriously, can also be used as a manipulation for the addict to get you back. He needs to talk to a therapist or a suicide hotline...not you. And you are right, if that is the chouce he wants to
make...that is up to him.
We can't save them but we can save ourselves.