He says that if he can't make me happy then nobody can.
Yes he is absolutely and totally wrong, because the truth is a very simple one, if YOU can't make YOU happy, and then nobody can. Including an affair.
Its been my experience that people will do exactly as they are going to do, with or without anyones advice.
It seems to me that you have your entire focus on your husband, and that if he would only? The truth is that what you are feeling has nothing to do with your husband or his drinking. If he stopped drinking tomorrow, you would feel the same thing that you feel right now. How do I know this? Because happiness is an inside job, its that simple.
God Bless and I would suggest taking care of you by getting to Alanon meetings. Recovery works from ones own insides first and then to the outside. Not the other way around.
Patsy