Idaley,
Oh gosh. I can see why you're so upset. I was also pregnant and in a stressed relationship several years ago, and I learned something very valuable. That stressed relationship gave me clarity. I could focus on the baby and then all the right decisions came to the surface.
With Al-anon I've learned the three C's:
You didn't
Cause it
You can't
cure it
and you can't
control it.
One of the most helpful resources to me was getting myself to an Al-anon meeting so I could learn to detach with love.
You're dealing with a string of emotions that is normal with pregnancy on top of a crazy schedule. Your feelings are valid, and you can feel them but make sound decisions not based on feelings alone. Al-anon taught me that.
If you are unable to attend Al-anon meetings in person because of this crazy schedule, then you might be able to read the permanent posts above this forum. We call them 'stickies'. You might get some wisdom from reading on this board, reading the big book of AA, "Courage to Change" or any and all of the resources available.
No, you did not choose this for yourself and your baby. But, you can be equipped to makes some right choices.