Bonbon
I have gone thru those times when I felt really alone, and then I have been able to have times where I cherished my solitude. When I get lonely I reach out to other friends in recovery, and spend more time reading some of the Al Anon literature. Its not much but every little bit helps....
I agree with the others that your HP is preparing someone special for you right now! And that person will come along when you are happy, healthy and whole enough to deal with the relationship. It has worked that way for me, and it happened when I least expected it!
HUGS
O59