Suffering at the hands of a loved one is hard. You get cheated out of love, exceptance, and kind treatment. You want to feel love and be protected by the person you have committed to and sacrificed for. I did it and sacrificed almost my career trying to make things work only to be left after abuse and ill treatment. So I started an affair talking to, receiving attention, gifts, and advise. When I did, I started drifting from my AH who is now living with another woman, he became angry and wanted to reclaim his place in the household at distance. It was not it is not fair for him to cheat me of good feelings and times with someone who is not addicted and broke. I am still in the relationship as I allow my ex to deal with taking responsibility for his actions to include all the hurt he has imposed upon me. I am still alone, but at least I feel good about someone else finding me attractive and worth better treatment than the past years. People who care for you tend to warn you not to mess up because someone else is abusing you, yet they are not there to comfort you with the hugs, kisses, and acception you so desparately need. Your husband is having an affair with the booze and uses that as the excuse why he is not being their for you. Yes, you are alone most of the time, talking helps, writing helps, but it does not replace the physical presence of someone who is there for you. Men have been having affairs with numerous women and initiate them frequently and they do it without guilt. I will not blame you if you seek outside affection. Just be careful not to expect it to solve all your problems. I see my friend when I can and enjoy very much the attention and special times we have with the understanding this relationship will one day resolve. I don' t plan to break his situation up, I just enjoy what he gives me when he can. I am not always available, but it builds my self-esteem to know someone who is not addicted to substance thinks about me, spends time with me, talks to me, gives to me, and respects me as a person. It helps me not to take any more bulls it from the man I promised to love to only get pain and betrayal.
Go into the situation that you have evidently already started emotionally anyway weighing all the facts. Communicate alot and discuss expectations, reality, and perspectives.
Best wishes in your decision and seeking of peace in this matter.