Al-anon isn't about him, it's about you. I don't go, but have been on SR for a long time. I see it as not so much about admitting I'm stuck with the crap, but that I'm realizing I do deserve better and I want to find out what has made me accept unacceptable behavior and get to a point where I realize it's unacceptable and want better for me.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy