First realize the first thing you need to do to get out of that hole is to stop digging. The shame will continue to deepen as long as you drink. The only way to keep it from getting worse is to quit. And once you're past the first initial wave of "Wow. I really effed that up" feelings, things will get better. But they can't improve until you quit.
Second realize that's your addiction or Beast or lizard brain or whatever talking. Your addiction, at this point, has its own personality. It has kinda taken over your brain, and it will protect itself. Will you ever stay sober with someone whispering in your ear about the awesomeness of booze? It's not going to be easy. So you're going to have to learn how to tell that part of your brain to STFU.
Third, does your husband know about your plan to quit? Maybe he should be in on it. You know you've wronged him, he knows it too. But it seems like he'd want the wrong to stop. So perhaps explain to him that you know you've wronged him and you're sorry and it's really going to be hard for you but you want to stop and you need his support to get through the ups and downs you're going to have. That's a good place to start. Worry about all those other people later, for now just focus on getting yourself well again. When you've been sober for a while and have a little more perspective you'll actually be in a position to issue meaningful apologies. Until then it's not worth the effort; until they recognize the change no one will believe your apologies anyway.
Fourth, learn to forgive yourself. This took me a long time, it wasn't an easy battle. I was much harder on myself than anyone else was. I babbled on SR a lot. But this comes with time, at first you might just focus on getting well again, and only once you aren't altering your brain anymore will you be able to assess what's really going on and how hard you should be on yourself.
And always feel free to post here if you want some help or encouragement. Everyone's fought their own battle here, I think they'll be happy to share what they can.